"Astrid the Cat the Movie Lé Film"

So, after a succesful X-Mascalender It feels wrong to make more movies in a while. So just like all the great moviedirectors I just put my name as a producer and let some rookie do all the work and use my beautiful name to sell the DVD´s.

Here it is.
Written by Lisa Wärmegård
Starring Astrid the Cat
Edited by Lisa Wärmegård
Scenografi by Ewa Wärmegård

Executive Producer
Nisse Wärmegård

Happy X-Mas (War is over)

Christmas, the wonderful time of the year when all the family is gathered and eat and relax and remember that Jesus was born and Santa Claws likes rudolph.

Right now my mother is making Glögg for her and my father. Then they are gonna watch Donald Duck at 1500. I might stay here and watch something else instead, or I join them just to sit in the couch and see my father fall asleep and my mother get bored.
Sigrid the Cat is really cosy today and wants to share the spirit of X-mas.
Astrid the Cat is outside.

And my sister is working at OnOff in Stockholm, at the Kista Gallerian. If you read this Lisa, We miss you.

Episode 24

Here it is, the last episode of ALARM: X-Mas.
Lyrics by 2oBy Tw0 Kenobi
Performed by Nisse Wärmegård feat Milq



All you Nilslovers who want´s the song as a MP3, click here.

Episode 23

22

Episode 21.5

As a big extrapresent from me to you all!

21

Sorry I was late... It will happened again tomorrow.

On the road

Sorry for the delay of todays episode, it will arrive when I come home. The Internet at home where unbearable yesterday.

Right now I am at arlanda eating varm kôrv with bröd.
Later homies!

20

Yeah! I feel really good about this episode!
For some reason I make the best episodes when I´m tired.

I cleaned my room today. It smells cancercleaner here.

19

Tell your friends about Alarm X-Mas.

Lyrics

Oh my god!
People keep sending complements for the musicvideo! Everyone loves it!

One of my biggest fans asked for the lyrics so she can singalong. Here they are:

the only thing i want
Is Bruce Willis lawn
the only thing i want
Is Bruce Willis lawn

the only thing i want
Is Bruce Willis lawn
aaah

I want a thing that bruce won't give
I want Bruce Willis lawn
I want a thing that bruce won't give
oooh

the only thing i want
Is Bruce Willis lawn
aaah
if I was a gardener
I could take hes lawn away
yeah yeah yeah

oh I am
a Bruce lover
I am a Bruce lover
a Bruce's lawn wanter

and a Bruce's lawn to take
Cuz Bruce's lawn is great
aaah
I was a gardener
and that, Is Bruce Willis lawn
ah ah ah ah ah

the only lawn i want
the only lawn i want
aaah

Episode 18

Today when I woke up I didn´t feel like making a videoepisode for tomorrow. But after some chatting at the LG2K klotterplank I started a poll to findout what song I would record and perform.

The results were:
Rockenroll Suicide in a circusversion: 2 votes (Both from finanna)
Bruce Virvliz Lawn Blues: All other votes

Bruce Virvliz Lawn Blues is the song Whirlwind by Broder Daniel in a version about Bruce Willis and his lawn, written by Toby 2 Kenobi.
You can download the MP3 HERE.

The musicvideo is todays episode of Alarm X-Mas:

17

16

#15

#14

I miss sweden.

Alarm X-Mas Episode thirteen - The Lucia and Poleepisode

Here it is ladys (and gentlemen). The act i did in the circusperformance "L'armes d'Eros" (Svensk titel; "Titta han gråter").

My personal comments is that it is short and that I have to little tricks in it. But I think you will enjoy it. In a couple of days I will put out the first poleact I did so you can see the progress.

Tonight I saw the new James Bondmovie. It was really good, I had high expectations but I was surprised that it were able to reach over them.

On my way to the cinema I saw a caraccident. A "biker" was hit by a smartcar. He passed out for a couple of minutes and then he woke up and started to pickup his bikeparts and he wanted to go home.

If I ever get hit by a car, I hope I get hit by a smartcar.

12 - The instant classic

The show has been eating our soul, so the episode yesterday were delayed and the episode today is missing something, maybe it is to little Nils in it or something. But tomorrows episode will probably be an instant classic!

But as long as our Xmascalender is free from Kristina Lugn and poetry I am proud of it!

Alarm X-Mas Episode Ten - Spending time with my family...

Alarm: XMas - Episode 9

Alarm X-Mas Episod eight - Crouching Christerpettersen.com Hidden Nils

Alarm XMAS: Episod 7 - "Grown up men do stuff together"

Titta han snackar också!!!111

The creation is going forward. I can´t say that it is "good" or "entertaining". I can say that "my mom will like it" and "my father won´t leave during the show".

Todays episode of Alarm XMas were supposed to be followed by a teaser of the show. But I don´t have energy to do it now so I´ll do it tomorrow and it will be presented Saturday morning.

Right now I have to sleep. Tomorrow I will become blonder then ever.

"Sacrifice for art and you will never walk boring" - Nils Wärmegård 2006

Alarm X-Mas Episode Six - The return of the Spagge

This is the end of the first loosely StarWars based Episodes. Tomorrows episode will be based on the Swedish televisionreligion Nile City.

Then we go into deeper stuff.

Alarm X-Mas Episode five - The Empire Strikes Back

Alarm X-Mas Episod four - A new hope

Alarm X-Mas Episod three - revenge of the sith

Alarm X-Mas Episod two - Attack of the clones

Alarm X-Mas Episod one - The phantom menace

Blogging in Swenglish...

Ok, I start in english.
TOMORROW AT 0700 I WILL UPLOAD THE FIRST EPISODE OF "ALARM: X-MAS"!

The first episode is not exxxcelent but quite cute.

I continue in swedish.

Trötthet, kära vänner.
Att inte ha mer än en dag ledigt åt gången tar på krafterna. Jag, Nils Johannes Wärmegård svär dyrt och heligt på fem språk (jag säger inte vilka) att jag inte skall klaga på att en helg är för kort igen.

Föreställningen går inte så bra. Det ända som är klart är mitt nummer och det har varit klart ganska länge, det känns som att vi bara trampar på samma tunna isfläck. Så fort vi hittar på något nytt så kommer någon på att det inte är disco, är det disco är det inte eros och är det disco och eros så är det fullständigt obegripligt för publiken och allmänt ointressant.

Jag är dock mycket glad att min kära familj med flera landar i Bryssel om en vecka. Det är synd att finanna eller Elias inte kunde följa med. Om någon vill komma hit så kan den kontakta mina föräldrar genom att göra en kommentar till detta blogginlägg och förhanla priser. Allt jag kräver är:
DUMLE, Marabou mjölkchoklad, Leksands runda knäckebröd, extragräddat, en svensk falukorv och en stor flaska trocadero.

Snälla mor och far, eller groupie som tigger biljett, ta med detta åt mig. Jag utlovar en kram efter föreställningen!

Peace out!

X-mas coming closer...

Today I had only one lession, thanks to ANGELique, our danceteacher and extra mother. She convinced PhilLIPe to cancel our acrobaticslession and move the Pascal Jacoblession to after lunch. That gave us a well needed rest.

The creation is eating my soul.

After the Circushistory with PJ I took a shoppingtour in town, i bought new training tshirts, new poleunderpants, new polesweatshirt, new socks and a santa clauscostume. And one christmasgift for my sister. She is the easiest of the family to buy gifts for, because she always pretends to be happy, no mather what.

The I came home and did laundry and edited the first three episodes of ALARM: X-MAS.
They are not so full of specialeffects or manuscript or something that fancy, but the are made with love.

Peace!

Long day!

This day was long, but I had rebecca (thats what I call my computor) to keep me company all day...
I downloaded stuff for our creation, I don´t want to tell too much.

Two episodes of ALARM: X-Mas is filmed, i will edit it tonight I think...

Everything else is due to sponsorshipcontract confidencial*

___________
*Jag luktar illa och måste duscha!

Stålnils strikes again

Jag fortsätter att blogga på svenska ett tag. Det är ganska skönt att kunna skriva av sig och veta att ingen mer än Anna och Chrille P från skolan läser. Eller möjligtvis Pedro om någon översätter åt honom för att senare gå ett "okänt öde till mötes".

Nu har jag vaknat och tagit mitt söndagsmorgonsbad. Det är en mycket skön ovana. Att börja dagen med att lägga sig i blöt är troligtvis det smartaste man kan göra.
Tyvärr tar det tid.
Tyvärr är det svårt att hitta en avslappnande position i mitt pyttebadkar som är kortare än mina ben.

Det hela leder till en lustig procedur när jag duschar av mig en snabbis, sen stoppar ner proppen så att badkarlet sakta fylls upp.
När allt är fullt lägger jag mig på rygg med benen i vädret och njuter tills vattnet runnit ut ur skyddmotöversvämmningshålet (VVSexperter, vad heter det for real??), sen börjar jag frysa och duschar av mig igen och är redo för allt!

Jag har länge sett morgonbaden som ett hot mot min punktlighet då jag inte kan räkna och bada samtidigt. Men sedan slår det mig att jag morgonbloggar är ett större hot. Hursomhelst.
Idag väntar scenbygge tror jag. Vi skall ställa upp allt som det skall vara i föreställningen.

Jag skall även kidnappa tillbaka min kamera från Anna, som fick sin plånbok stulen igår. Tjuvarna blev nog besvikna när dom märkte att stålnils hade flyttat alla annas pengar. Muahahahhaaha...

Stålnils andra supermission igår, Sandra, verkar vara hemma och vid liv. Jag hörde ett snarkade, som inte alls lät som min far, från hennes rum.

Nu väntar en tunnelbanefärd med Liftarens Guide radioteatern i lurarna. ALla borde lyssna på den jämt.

Saturday night fever

Ok, tillbaka i affären. Stariz bloggar på svenska igen.
Det vore ju synd om jag tappar mitt fina kunnande i det ädla fosterlandsbrölandet.

Hursomhelst så började dagen hur lungt som helst med ett bad, några avsnitt Oz och ett storkok pasta med tomatsås. Jag städade lite och diskade, och kände mig som en riktig hemmafru. Sandra var någonstans jag visste inte riktigt var just då.

Sen hör jag ett gneekande, ungefär som en arg katt i regnet som vill bli insläppt. Det var dörrklockan med tillhörande Sandra tre trappor ner som ville ha bärhjälp. Hurra tänkte jag, hon har varit på IKEA och köpt en soffa eller på loppmarknad och köpt ett flipperspel.

Undertäcknad flyyger ner för trapporna och möter något som nästan såg ut som sandra, om sandra hade blivit påkörd av en bilaffär så att säga.

Soffan och flipperspelet var i själva verket en liten påse på ca 1 kilo som jag skulle bära upp, samtidigt som jag fick dra upp den lilla klena sandra.

Efter att jag tryckt i henne mat så bar det iväg till sjukhuset. (Jag skall byta namn på bloggen till Stariz sjukhusblog). Denna gång var det St Pierre sjukhuset vid Porte De Hal.
Ett stort och obegripligt sjukhus som var omöjligt att hitta ingången till. Sen när jag och sandra som vid detta laget var nära döden äntligen hittar skyltar mot akuten så var det in i en mycket mycket obehaglig gränd där vi inte alls hittade någon akut utan bara en obehaglig dörr med skylten "Morgue". Sandra tyckte att det var bra nog och satte sig och väntade. Jag drog henne till akuten där hon tömdes på blod och förgäves försökte charma läkare. Medans vi väntade på provsvaren så gick vi till kvaterspubben och drack varm choklad.

Kvarterspubben skulle kunnat låna skylten där det stod "Morgue" och behållt sin trovärdighet.

Väl tillbaka på akutens inre vänthall så ser vi flera liv passera revy, flera nyblivna pappor hurra i korridoren och en massa olika sjukdomar.
Roligast är inte rätt ord, men det första ordet som dyker upp när man beskriver situationen när två ambulansförare kommer in med en bår med en massa filtar och en väska på. Skulle det inte vara för att allt luktade bajs skulle jag misstänka att ambulansförarna var galna. Sen hör jag ett bekant läte och tänker, NEJ! dom har tagit min far!!!

Han snarkade minnsann exakt likadant som min kära far.
Ambulansförarna klarade ioförsig att kasta runt honom och hans saker (som var praktiskt fastknutna på honom) utan att han vaknade. Sen kom tre poliser och tömmde hans väskor och försökte väcka honom, utan resultat.

Efter detta beslöt jag mig för att lämna Sandra, hon var i trygga händer.

Nu spenderar jag resten av lördagkvällen med glass, saft och Oz.
Precis som det är tänkt att lördagkvällar skall spenderas.

Saturday, i think...

The only one day of holyday but strategically placed over the workweek rutine is killing me.
This morning when I woke up I spent the first minute to find out if it was Wednesday or Saturday.
After that minute I realized one thing:
I don´t care.

ESAC builds strong performers with a sund själ in a sund kropp, but makes them forget what day it is.

Anyho, yesterday we added a new piece to my number. It feels good!

We got a second pole up yesterday so I started to jump between them. But Lin Meï thinks that they are to close to eachother and the french maffia thinks that they should be that close. But it is easy to jump with half turn to the other pole. And most of all, it is fun.

Today I will clean and eat. And read the second best blog on the internet: find user ROCKY on myspace.
Den är på svenska och handlar mest om kött. Det är nog därför jag kan relatera till den så bra.

WÖÖÖ!!!

My act has changed again. Or not so much since last time. But it is not a stripact. Sorry ladys but it seems that the act will be a tribal (uttalas trajball som i ball tatuering) thingy.

Everybody is raving around me while i do my stuff.

I am to tired to blog more than this.

Funky Fashion...

The great thing about the circusbuissniss is that it is changing all the time. The show that started with two month of research about the antique greeks and erotism have now gotten modernized to a discofunkyfashionshow.
That suits me more but I don´t really understand why the show is called The tears of Eros.

Once again people should have listen to me and kept the name "Alarm: EROS" which was not just more esthetic in print, but also more dynamic to name a show before it is done. But well well.

Yesterday we did a great start for my poleact. Everybody is around me drumming rythms and I do pole at the same time.
But I don´t know if I´m gonna strip. Time will tell.
I´m loading up with energy* right now to go out and check out the latest in funky fashion.

The problem is that the showbudget force us to buy secondhand funky fashionclothes. That is more fun, but more difficult.
"Its not eating candy" - Arian Miluka

Me and Christerpettersen.com have also started to write the manuscript for the christmascalender, who will be called:
ALARM: X-MAS


Peace out!




*Energy - Fulcola and an omelet of death, a briecheese and knäckebröd

Stripping Nilses, hidden tigers

First of all, I fucked up in the chessgame today. But I think I will win anyway. But everybody in the chessthread is laughing at me :(.

The day started in bed but I got up and went to the scenografy, via GBexpress for breakfast.

First lession: SCENOGRAFY, we talked about what we need on our costumes. I feel so bad because i need most protection and has the most difficult rigging. But since I have my beautiful smile and lagrad slyngelcharm I get what I want.

Luis (and partly me) did this installations with crayons too:

Second lession was trampolinetest. I hadn´t jumped in three weeks but did the test anyway. Marc was satisfied, that means i was satisfied.

Third lession was Lunch, i ate pasta with tunasauce.

Forth lession was Pole, I was great! Lin Meï was back and everything feels great in the knee now.

I am ready to do the best number in my life sofar in our show.

Fifth lession was halftime meeting for the show.

Marcus was a bit lost, the class is a bit splitterd (splittrad på engelska) and we try to make an order and red line through the show. We didn´t really come up with so much more than that almost everyone wants to se me strip... I feel that it will be really fun.

But since I need so much protection i might get dressed in the act instead.

I will make a small worknote and try to get everything started tomorrow.

It feels good that the class has passed the weeks of pure research and that we start to work more towards a show. But I might get in to such a stressed mode that I won´t blog everyday. But I will try to keep it up!!

Sunday

Hello all Nilslovers!
I have something important to tell you all.
It is chrismas this year too!

Santa Claus (St Klåås på svenska) just called me to tell me that Chrismas will be celibrated in December this year.
SVT, the swedish television, also called me and told me that the chrismascalender this year will suck!
SVT also called Christerpettersen.com and gave him the bad news. So when Christerpettersen.com started to cry I told him:
"Hey boy, get your rocks on! Move boy, we put the clock on you boy let´s make our own Chrismascalender. It will be the best christmascalender EVVÖRR!!"

So all the children in the world can relax. At least it will be one christmascalender who will hold the mesurestick (hålla måttet, fast på engelska.)

It will be 24 episodes, one each day of december until the 24th.

Now Sandra came home, i´m gonna look at her african pictures..

Saturday!

One blog a day keeps the doctor away...
I did not blog yesterday, but thats becuse i saw Dr Skallpell, and he told me that my knee is ok!
So I can start to train for real again!!!

Right now my landlord is here fixing the electricity in Sandras room and tonight I will see a show, but I don´t really know what time it starts.

Anyho, time to eat!!

Woho

The name for the show is set.
L'armes d'eros.

I must say that I prefer "ALARM: Eros" but as long as it is not called "la vie de la nuit" I am satisfied.

Right now I am eating dinner in the school, waiting for frenchcourse. "All play and no work makes you die and go to hell", som jag brukar säga...

Well well, i might blog more if I ever get home... Peace out

Secret day!

What I did today will remain a secret forever!!!

Trött Nils bloggar på svenska!

Dramatik, baby, dramatik.

Detta är minsann hur schackbrädet ser ut nu i den dramatiska matchen mellan Nils Wärmegård och Sebastian Edström.

Ingen vågar utropa den andra till LOOOSER utan båda spelar defensivt och genomtänkt.

Som ni ser spelar jag för hand. Mest för att det är coolt!

Dagen började lite för sent eftersom jag försov mig. Jag vaknade av ett SMS när Finanna berättade att hon klev på planet till Prag. Hon ringde nyss och allt lät lungt.

När jag tillslut kom till skolan var första lektionen slut. Det var iof lungt eftersom det var scenografi. Jag ursäktade mig och ingen blev arg.
Trampolinlektionen fördrevs på plint där jag gjorde Marc´s kroppshållningsövningar. Dom är väldigt bra och alla borde göra dom jämt. Men jag vill kunna hoppa trampolin igen. Min skada suger livslusten ur mig! Kanske inte riktigt, men det gör mig nedstämnd.
Lyckligtvis blir knät bättre och bättre dag för dag (som i låten). Så om inte röntkningen imorgon säger annat börjar jag träna normalt på Måndag.

Förutom röntken är jag ledig imorgon, dagen skall därför fördrivas i sängen. Alternativt framför datorn.

Efter plintkunskap var det lunch. Stor bagge med Pitta pikant och ost avnjöts tillsammans med fulcola jag hade med mig (blir billgare så..)

Pållektionen idag var givande. Men bäst av allt var kreationslektionen med Marcus. Vi körde en timme improvisation som bitvis var redo för scen. Vi jobbar extremt bra tillsammans känner jag. Jag körde lite påle i improvisationen men kunde inte köra fullt ut pga knä, inga skor och ingen tröja. Men allt känns lovande och ALLA borde se föreställningen i december.

Efter impron var det äntligen Emillianos (manolo) tur att köra egen impro med sin stege. Den mannen är galen.

Eftersom det är tisdag fick jag även äran att besöka franskaundervisningen. Det är tungt att gå dit när man helst bara vill sova. Men det är en skön verklighetsflykt att umgås med vanliga människor.

Nu skriker Seb från andra sidan av internet att hans kung har gjort hamburgare av min häst.
Dags att visa honom vem som bestämmer.

Peace out!
PS. For all you englishspeakers, I can just say: "I´m Fine!!"

The battle goes in to middleplay

The chessgame against Sebastian has started off slowly but gets more and more intense.
No kills yet but it will come soon.

I don´t think I played this defensive in any chessgame before.

In real life today we had scenografy, trampo (i did headstand and abdominal training), pole and marcus. With marcus Paolo and I did a great dance, I was dead and he carried me around. Paolo weigh around 30 kilos or something but is superstrong and it became really nice.

Now I will hit the shower!

All work and no play makes Nils a strong boy!

Sunday school, or söndagsskola is normally what the kids do in church when the parents get into the serious buissniss at the church.

For me and my lovely class söndagsskola is when we have school on sunday so we can get down to buissniss.

I really enjoy working with Marcus, the director of our creation. He is around 1 meter high, full of energy and great ideas. His warmups are strongly influed by some kind of martial art, so today we kicked eachother in the stomach for around half an hour. It was fun.

We also read our personal poems, the one where I need help from you with translations.

So far my version is:

Jag önskar jag vore en liljekonvalj, ren och ärlig
För att sedan njuta av din kropp, naken och härlig

Jag önskar dig en blomma, det finaste som finns
Mest för att få av dig dina jeans

Jag önskar dig blommor, 1000 rosor
Mest för att få av dig dina trosor

Lägg till! Posta kommentarer goddammnit!!!

Then we did a strange but great exercise.
Read the long poem and do your circusdiscipline at the same time and make up new movements.
First rule is: Always read the poem
Second rule is: ALWAYS READ THE POEM
Third rule is: Do not stop until Marcus say so

For me, after around three minutes, I´m completly dead. So this forced me into making up new tricks that don´t use energy. Thats something new for me and I think my class liked it.

Christer, who has birthday today, did a 25 minutes long slackwire improvisation that was really good.

So, happy birthday Christer.
Happy mothersday dear mother Ewa.
Happy birthday Angelique (our danceteacher)

Tomorrow is the birthday of my father. He turnes 25.

The WAR has begun!!

I am in the middle of a battle.
As a followup to his victory against "Mr Bob Harris", the furious Dödsmannen Number One and I decided to match our powers on the battlefield called Chess.
I tried again to find a nice chessboard (tjackbräde på svenska) but I couldn´t find any board worthy the battle. Mostly becuse all the stores where closed due to some world war or something.
So I bought a nice moleskine notebook to write all the draws in. Which gives me one disadvantage, more work.
But since I write out where all the pieces are, I get a good overview before every move, and I can write down upcoming moves.

Dödsmannen Number One is White and I am black.

White: E2-E3
Black: G7-F6

Stay tuned for more chess!!

Omelet of death!

Well well friday evening means first of all food!

One great thing about fridays is that they are followed by "saturdays" that means "day off".
On the day off I go to a foodstore (due to sponsornegotiations I can´t tell you the name) and buy food.
So on the friday I eat all the food I have left.

The easiest way to get rid of the strange stuff I sometimes find in my fridge (read Sandras food). Is to cook a so called "Omelet of death".

The recepie is easy:

1. Take everything you know you won´t use and put in a frying pan
2. Add a can of tuna
3. Add 4 eggs
4. Drown the shit with grillkrydda and oregano
5. Fry until ready
6. Eat and enjoy

Poetry time - part 2

Today we had scenografi, i made Christer into Yoda with a touch of pornstar. Pedro became silverpedro and the rest became just strange.

I don´t have any of the pictures that the cameraman Chris Pee took, but they might arrive soon.

Then there was trampoline and acro, but since I´m not allowed to participate I did the strange exersices that Marc gave me. Then I spoke to Arian who was back today!!!

The lunchbox I made yesterday was forgotten in the fridge so I take it tomorrow. This sad fact forced me to walk to the famous butcher and eat a baugette (thon piquant and cheese).

The polelession with Arian was nice. Eventhough I can´t work with my legs.

The last three hours at school was Creation. First we ran, and I completly forgot that Dr Skalpell forbidden me to run, but it feels good as long as I don´t bend the knee over 90 degrees. We made a really long and really nice long improvisation of the text (famous from yesterday).
Since I forgot the french lession this tuesday I felt forced to go there today, so I went to Quick and loaded up the energi.
The frenchlessions are always nice, but I am tired after long schooldays.

Right now I am listening to the best swedish band ever. Euskeufeurat (stavning??) and soon I´ll take a shower and then sleep.

I have to make a long translation to swedish of my personal poem.
My plan is to make around 50 translations and sort them with the cutest first and make it more and more right on target...

I forgot the poem in french at school.
But in swedish it is something like:

Jag önskar dig en liljekonvalj, ren och oskuldsfull
Sen vill jag omsorgsfullt och gentlemannamässigt smeka din kropp

För att få det att rimma kan man skriva den i stil med:

Jag ger dig en ros, lika fin som du
Snälla säg att du vill bli min fru

Eller lite mera rakt på:

Jag ger dig en blomma, det finaste som finns
Mest för att få av dig dina jeans

Så, läsartävling:
Kan någon göra en snäll, rimmande omskrivning av dikten.
Regler:
Rad ett skall ínnehålla en blomma och någon form av fina adjektiv
Rad två skall innehålla någon form av förfinad omskrivning för snusk.

Posta kommentarer!!

Poetry time

Yesterday we didn´t just paint me green, we started to work with Marcus the director for the show too.

So now I have to learn a poem about Eros by heart. It is quite difficult, since it is in french.

The poem goes like this:

Allons, Que je vous donne le signalement
De ce petit enfant:
Il est aisé reconnaître, assurément.
Il ná pas le taint blanc
Et, parail à la flamme est tout rougeoyant.
Sa voix est sauve comme le miel
Mais sa penseé est pire que le fiel.
Ce terrible marmot ment et ment toujours:
Ne croyez en acun de ses discours
Tout le porte vers des jeux mauvais.
Oui, c´est un enfant cruel, en effet!
Certes, il a de beaux cheveux
Mais son front est des plus malicieux
Ses mains sont petites il est vrai,
Mais elle frappent fort au point de résonner
Jusque sur l`Achéron et l´infernal palais.
Il arbore une belle nudité
Mais son âme est fort enveloppée.

That part is what I should know by heart for tomorrow.
For those of you who wonder it means that Eros is an evil child!

Chess is the new black and bodypaint makes you look green

Yesterday evening I didn´t blog.

This is becuse I heard about a new computor game that I played instead. It is called Chess and apparently it is possible to play whitout computor too.

Right now on LG2K in the forum there is a distancebattle between Mr Bob Harris and Dödsmannen nr1.

I hope that Dödsmannen nr1 wins.

I will buy a analog chessboard today so I can challenge Mimmic, AKA Elias Larsson in a match.

Yesterday in school we had the best scenografilession ever. Paolo, Angelos and Loïc showed funny pictures from a suspect flamish fashionmagazine. The we painted eachother.

This is me, the first version.

Chrille P (soon with a new website) did the makeup. Just green was nice, but to decorate me more (pimp my face) we added stripes like on a Dodge Viper.

Loïc was blue and we looked like brothers.

This is the rest of the painted class:

We look like a Star Wars Cosplayparty...

All photos is by Christer Pettersen.

More starwars torrents for the people!

Thanks to our new schedule we have every wednesday off. This rules.

Today I slept until around 12 and then I spent one hour doing research about the upcoming Star Wars Televisionseries. It seems to become a really expensive supershow!
On different websites everybody is talking about how bad they think the show is going to be since George this and Lucas that.

I think the show will rule since George Lucas is a horrible storystarter (Episod 1). The best things he has written is everything taking place in the middle of the Saga. Clone Wars until the end of EP 5 (Holiday Special included, droids excluded) is the best form of moving pixels on the computerscreen. This is for me the really important parts of the Star Wars saga. The rest (ep 1, 2 & 6, ewoks + battle of endor) is just a way to make everything understandable for the mainstream crowd.
And since the show will take place between ep 3 and 4 it will be great and therefor kick out Droids out of the canon.

Anyhow, I´m looking forward to download this show from "the Internet" - my favorite piece of information.

One blog a day keeps the doctor away!

Good Morning all you Nilslovers!
I just finished my breakfast and felt that it is time for the first morningblog in a while.

Today is gonna be the day
That they're gonna throw it back to you
By now you should've somehow
Realized what you gotta do

As Oasis said it in the 90´s.

Well well, gotta go now.

Alone...

Well. My bloggingfrequency has made even a true fan like Milqy Balboa to question my existence. Or atleast spread a rumour (spelling? rykte...) about my retirement as a Teenage Mutant Hero Blogger.

I´ve been busy showing Anna AKA Finanna Brussels and South Park. The wonderful girl went back to Stockholm today.
Fun for her mom, sad for me.

The day started this morning*.
The first lession was Scenografi so no warmup needed. But I wanted to see Dr Skalpell. He was back from a smaller surgery but really wanted to take care of us. I have to do some superxray next week, where the shoot some strange fluid into my knee and then the fluid ask my knee what´s wrong and tell it to Dr Skalpell.
Dr Skalpell** also told me to not run or jump. That is a pity since I kinda like jumping and running.

The Scenografi was as scenografi is most.
The Acro was just Marc giving me and Paolo strange powerexersices to do since we are injured.
The Poleclass was fun. Lin Meï have spent the whole holiday making up new polemoves. Finanna was there to support me and I made five really nice Flagpushups.

After the poleclass we were done for the day since all the teachers had a meeting.
So I followed Finanna to Gare Du Midi and waved her off.

It is strange to be all alone in the apartment. Sandra is in Togo now. It is also quite cold since the heating is broken.

But life rules anyway!
______________________________________________
*I wrote the sentence before I thought it, it is quite cute so I left it
**Or Dr Skal Spell as he would be called if he was a proffesor at Hogwarts.***
***I thought it was funny at first.

I´m Back....

Once again I have made a cliffhanger in the blog and then not updated in one week. Sorry.
A whole world is worried about my knee.
I still don´t know how it is doing.
But It feels a bit better and in around one hour me and Finanna is going to the doctor to check it out in a x-raymachine.

Speaking of Finanna (thats what everyone here thinks she is called) she is here and I think she likes Brussels. "Vad skall jag hälsa!?" She says to all of you. I´ve been showing here the town and she has been taking care of my knee.

We´ve been watching three movies on cinema. First we saw "Children of men" (Imdb) this monday. A nice movie about the future when noone can have children anymore.
Yesterday Sandra wanted to use the shower so we had to move out of the bedroom. So we had a hard time deciding what movie to see. The weather was bad so we couldn´t be outside. Finanna wanted to see "Perfume" (Imdb), I thought it was a girlsmovie. I wanted to see "Borat" (Imdb).

For some strange reason we ended up seeing "Perfume". (T0ffelpoäng! Släng dig i väggen Elias). It wasn´t a girlsmovie, it was a wonderful story about a man who liked to make perfume. See it.

Then since Belgium is belgium and noone seem to have control over anything we went to the salong were they showed "Borat".
Two movies for 5.95€!
Borat was a genial movie by the Ali G dude. I recommend it to everyone!

Tomorrow Sandra goes to Togo for two weeks. This means that I have what we in sweden call "FF". That means that I can walk around in my underwear or less and watch horrormovies all night. Or just read cartoons all night.

I also have to say goodbye to Toby twoo Kenobi and Chrille "Didn´t do it" P who both have decided to stop their blogging.
So Long and thanks for all the Fish.

Anyho, we are now going to the doctor.
Peace OUT!

Just Fear, not loathing.

I went to Dr Chapelle (uttalas skalpell) this morning to check out my knee.
Unfortunatly Dr Chapelle (uttalas fortfarande skalpell) was sick (heartsurgery, emopoints!) so Morgan and the female took a look at my knee.

They couldn´t really find anything more than it is probably something with the menisk and they noticed the fact that I hurts if they hit on it.
Since they couldn´t give me anything better than a good time they decided to send me to another doctor. Doctor De Vos will get a visit from me in one and a half hour.
To be honest I am a bit scared. Imagine if the knee is broken forever. Then I will walk like Mad-Eye Moody forever. It would be a bit sad.
But shame on the one who gives up (it sounds better in swedish).
I can always buy a new knee on ebay or build one from spareparts.

Anyho, I´m going to the doctor now. It takes a while to get there, since I can´t walk as fast (and sexy) as normal, and since it is on the other side of town.

I also found this article, I am so glad that my mother don´t mind my "poledancing". Lol

Peace out!
PS. Tomorrow Finanna comes here to take care of me!

A portrait of the artist as a young man...

Bad news first.
Your favorite blogger is injured. It is the same type of injury that I got just before summer.
The devilouse (it could be a real word) frontsalto has once again crippled me, the teenhero, the artist formerly known as Nils.
It makes me a bit sad and the fact that I walk like a old man makes me mutter like one too.

This morning I woke up at 0900 and I completly forgot that I was injured. When I stood up the reminder came instantly. So I realized that it was best that I stayed in bed.'
So the whole day today was more or less spent in bed with the computer.
I downloaded (illegally) Jackass 2. It was funny, but I hope that my mother don´t see it.

I also had my first french test. It was scary but I think that it went good.

Something that feels like a gun aimed at my soft parts tells me to write that Milq, 2 and Krank has all three updated there blogs today.

A message from out sponsor

Not everybody knows all the details on why I had to change from webblogg.se to blogger.com. And I am not allowed to tell you all the details but it has to do with the upcoming release of the google Mp3/divx player (coming next christmas).

Anyhow, I certanly recommend everyone to get a google calender today.
Great features:

• Choose what holidays you want to see (I have both Muslim and Chinese holidays, just because I don´t know who will win the war...)
• Make the calendar send your daily schedule by sms
• Make the calender editable for your manager and sponsors (and mom and dad)
• And all the classic stuff like remember birthdays and meetings

Failed rebellion...

Today I confronted the hard Belgian foreign policy again.
This time I just waited for a meeting for very long and then I will go back in one week to get my IDcard.
Since the waiting takes so long I came home late and after lunch I took a small nap and then the clock was to late to go to school. I felt like a teenage rebel from some 80´s televisionserie.

Now Sandra just came home and told my that the classes were cancelled so I didn´t miss anything. Good for my statistics, bad for my teenage rebelreputation.

Tonight I am making pancakes. Practice makes perfect.

Publicity!

First of all! Check out the famous article about me here (click goddamnit)

The rest of the day and the status of the school right now is best told by this image. It is from the lunchbreak.

George Carlin

Sing along kids:

I'm a modern man.
I'm a modern man.
I'm a modern man.
I'm a modern man.

I'm a modern man,
A man for the millennium,
Digital and smoke free.

A diversified multicultural postmodern deconstructionist,
Politically anatomically and ecologically incorrect.

I've been uplinked and downloaded.
I've been inputted and outsourced.
I know the upside of downsizing.
I know the downside of upgrading.

I'm a high tech lowlife.
A cutting edge state-of-the-art bicoastal multitasker,
And I can give you a gigabyte in a nanosecond.

I'm new wave but I'm old school,
And my inner child is outward bound.

I'm a hot wired heat seeking warm hearted cool customer,
Voice activated and biodegradable.

I interface from a database,
And my database is in cyberspace,
So I'm interactive,
I'm hyperactive,
And from time-to-time,
I'm radioactive.

Behind the eight ball,
Ahead of the curve,
Riding the wave,
Dodging a bullet,
Pushing the envelope.

I'm on point,
On task,
On message,
And off drugs.
I got no need for coke and speed,
I got no urge to binge and purge.

I'm in the moment,
On the edge,
Over the top,
But under the radar.

A high concept,
Low profile,
Medium range ballistic missionary.
A street-wise smart bomb.
A top gun bottom feeder.

I wear power ties,
I tell power lies,
I take power naps,
I run victory laps.

I'm a totally ongoing bigfoot slam dunk rainmaker with a proactive outreach.
A raging workaholic.
A working ragaholic.
Out of rehab,
And in denial.

I got a personal trainer,
A personal shopper,
A personal assistant,
And a personal agenda.

You can't shut me up,
You can't dumb me down.
'Cause I'm tireless,
And I'm wireless.
I'm an alpha male on beta blockers.

I'm a non-believer and an over-achiever.
Laid back but fashion forward.

Up front,
Down home,
Low rent,
High maintenance.

Super size,
Long lasting,
High definition,
Fast acting,
Oven ready,
And built to last.

I'm a hands on,
Foot loose,
Knee jerk,
Head case.

Prematurely post traumatic,
And I have a love child who sends me hate mail.

But I'm feeling,
I'm caring,
I'm healing,
I'm sharing.
A supportive bonding nurturing primary care giver.

My output is down,
But my income is up.
I take a short position on the long bond,
And my revenue stream has its own cash flow.

I read junk mail,
I eat junk food,
I buy junk bonds,
I watch trash sports.

I'm gender specific,
Capital intensive,
User friendly,
And lactose intolerant.

I like rough sex.
I like rough sex.
I like tough love.
I use the f word in my email,
And the software on my hard drive is hard core, no soft porn.

I bought a microwave at a mini mall.
I bought a mini van in a mega store.
I eat fast food in the slow lane.

I'm toll free,
Bite sized,
Ready to wear,
And I come in all sizes.

A fully equipped,
Factory authorized,
Hospital tested,
Clinically proven,
Scientifically formulated medical miracle.

I've been pre-washed,
Pre-cooked,
Pre-heated,
Pre-screened,
Pre-approved,
Pre-packaged,
Post-dated,
Freeze-dried,
Double-wrapped,
Vacuum-packed,
And I have an unlimited broadband capacity.

I'm a rude dude,
But I'm the real deal.
Lean and mean.
Cocked, locked and ready to rock.
Rough tough and hard to bluff.

I take it slow.
I go with the flow.
I ride with the tide.
I got glide in my stride.

Drivin' and movin',
Sailin' and spinnin',
Jivin' and groovin',
Wailin' and winnin'.

I don't snooze,
So I don't lose.
I keep the pedal to the metal,
And the rubber on the road.

I party hearty,
And lunch time is crunch time.

I'm hanging in,
There ain't no doubt.
And I'm hanging tough,
Over and out.

So close...

The salto in the pole is so close, I did better than ever today. Tomorrow I will do it!
The new trick is to scream when I push. It is a ancient Chinese method for getting power.

Another trick I invented today is to sing in the flag. It doesn´t sound good but I remember to breath.

The day besides from that:

• Trampoline, it goes up and down. Haha
• Scenografi. I read a great cartoon, bloom county. It was about a boy who made deodorant who later turned out to be a better antiboldmethod (try it christer). I also read Doonesbury about Raoul Duke and his assistents.
• Dance. We learned to walk funny and later use it in danceimprovisations. Angelique is a good danceteacher.

Now i am waiting for frenchcourse and eating cerials at Anna (Nerman)´s place.
Peace!

Wööö!

This is the famous couch.

Anna the Old will sleep here tonight, but not in the couch.

This is me in midair doing Salto on the pole. I am still not able to land on the pole but it will come soon.

No gaz except the smelly kind 2...

Today everything has been strange, the 8th day of school in a row.
First lession was supposed to be acrobatics with Sven (aka Dartanjang) but he was sick so I built a new shoulderprotection for the pole.
Second lession was pole, it went quite good but not the super mondayshape.

Then I went home to finally get gaz, but this time they told me that I need to change one of the switches in the gazpipe, but I am not allowed to do it by myself. GRR!

Sandra wants to tell the world that she did a barani in full out today, she is happy about it.

Weekend courses...

This weekend I have not been able to write popular blogentries becuse the school thinks that it is good for us to learn rigging and security. It is more fun to do it in second year than first year since we now just build crazy stuff and play instead of learning all the names of all the things.

What we built yesterday was basicly a house of big mats, christer has photos of it. I was up in the air spinning around trying to get the roof up, but the house fell in the last second.

Today we built a big linbana (lajnbejn baby).

I don´t have any photos of when we are in it but i have it on video and I will put it out if I have freetime sometime. This is the photos.

Paolo is basicly like a dictionary in rigging and security, but the other way around.

It is interesting how some people can look relaxed and cool in the big rigging uniform.

And how some people just end up looking 10 years younger.

Sorry

No blogs in a while.
What have happened the last days is a lot.

• I have some kind of inflammation in my back so I have to take it easy a couple of days
• My father went through a succesful surgery (weehoo)
• My mother gone radioactive
• My sister gone to far
• Today a journalist from the upperclass newspaper tidningen Ångermanland comes to make a big interview about me
• The montrealpeople went home
• The sun is shining
• The weather is sweet here
• The new poles has come to school, they look great but are not ready for use yet but will be so when my back is ready to use.
• Makes you want to move, your dancing feet yeah!

No i´m going to GB to get my breakfast.

Peace Out!

Swedish people in Brussels...

On my walk on the town I found a couple of hungover (wild guess) swedish eurocrats* who couldn´t find there hotel. They were talking very loud so I could keep the distance and still hear them talking about the greatest swedish movies ever. And they had a theorie that all the greatest swedish movies is recorded at Mallorca (Sällskapsresan 1 and Jönssonligan på mallorca).
I think they could have a point, since it must be much nicer to record a movie in the sun than in a Swedish small town. SF when you read this, send the filmmakers to the sun!

________
*Fancy word from Lonley Planets guidebooks to describe the people working for the EU and everything EUrelated. Most of the time men 30-50 years old in dark suites with a taste for chocolate and beer.

Trends rules!

I just joined the trend to make a friendtest.
Check it out at http://stariz69.friendtest.com

Today is called Saturday. I just woke up and have a relaxed day, I will go to Grand Place to give out flyers about Landing. Then see the creation that the montrealpeople and Sandra, Cedric, Francois and Mikaela has done.

Anyho, I´m going out.

No gaz except the smelly kind...

Right now I just missed the frenchcourse for today because I need to be home for sibelga. But they seem to not arrive to install the gaz. This is the 5th time they fail to install the gaz when we have a meeting.
I think they have something against me or Sandra.

If I knew where the boss (if they have someone responsable) for the company I would go to his place and take a hot shower.
For you blogreaders in Africa this might sound like a Ilandsproblem. But I guess that you africans who can read my blog can get hot water...

Since this makes me a bit hateful against the Belgian way of not solving things I miss the motherland. So I watch the purest most swedish DVD I have. The television serie of the pure swedish soul.
"En himla många program".
Sweden just before the rise and fall of crappy television.

I also have two DVDs of Pistvakt, sweden when it is as best. No knapsu Stockholmare, just real men, and there mothers.
Thank you dear family for not noticing that I stole those DVDs from you. I need them more than you. '
Sorry...

More swedish televisionseries I would like to see in my DVDshelf is:

• Nile City (allt med killinggänget)
• Kenny Starfighter
• Björnes magasin (SVT, släpp samlingsboxxen NU!)
• Ika i rutan (Har bara svaga barndomsminnen av nåt konstigt skelett och brud med alla bokstäver)
• Fem Myror är fler än Fyra elefanter
• Samlade Hasse och Tage
• Bert (helt klart underskattat!!!)
• Sunes Jul (Jag har bara sett lite av det...)

Sorry for the swedish comments, but it is impossible to translate...

Anywho, the day was good. But Sibelga draws me to the dark side...

Home early!

As I promised, I kept my dirty hands from the blog yesterday.
Today I were home early, the three hours of Interpretation was cancelled resulting in a lunch between 12 and 1630. But I slept instead of blogging. So now I am full of energy.

The poletraining this week has been good, but since the workweek starts to go to an end, so does the energy (some people call the day all the energy is gone Tuesday).

In the creative courses (music, scenografy and dramaturgy) we start to focus on the upcoming masterpiece "Eros".

The show that will be presented in December is based on Eros (the small naked guy with a bow and arrow who makes people love eachother) and some more parts of the Greek Mythology (Zeus and those dudes..). The show will also be inspired by rituals and ceremonies so I guess that if will end up in some kind of mad orgie if I know my class right.

Right now I am eating my dinner, rice, spinage and tuna.
I end todays blog with two pictures of my favorite quebecans:

This is the official Montrealsign.


This is the quebecan answer to the swedish folkdanse "Små grodorna" (small frogs).

WAR. HUH! What is a loser, absolutly nothing

Woho.
Nils is back onna tha island inna tha bloggosfär.

I can inform everyone that my family is falling apart. Everyone is involved in the biggest fight ever. Stronger opinions then the tissuebuissniss..
More controversial then two sisters buying a house together.
More thrilling then Dockstadagen (D-Day).

The movie is called Släkt Wars
The sides are two. The good side and the bad side.
The good side, Aka team Jedi is:
Nils Wärmegård - Aka Obi Nils Kenobi
Jenny Elfving - Aka Jenn Skyorange
Jonas Elfving - Aka Chewnas

The Evil side, Aka team Sith is as always a bigger number. There strongest spokeswomen is the evil Emperor Miatine who is helped by the evil lord Darth Lisa.
The also have support from Jar Jar Britta.

Everything can be read here (click and see the strong hand of the dark side)


We have guests here at home. Our home has become some kind of Quebecan house. There is now two quebecans in the same apartment. Sandra and Danica.
Danica is from the school in Montreal and is here with her two classmates Phillip and Masha.
It makes me think of the Triwisard tournaments in Harry Potter (arry potterrrrr in french).

The only negative thing with having two quebecans in the same room is that the speak to eachother. The quebecan french is to the normal french what skånska is to swedish. Which means completly ununderstandable and the scream and jump around like monkeys while they speak. But it is funny to see.

Tomorrow I have school between 0845 (warmup starts at 0800). Since everybody cares the schedule is:

1. Acrobatics or trampoline
2. Chinese Pole
3. Lunch
4. Interpretation 3 hours
5. Dramaturgy
6. 1hour break
7. frenchcourse until 2130

That is what i probably will call a murderday. At least mentally. Since we don´t have to run in the mornings now I was stronger and better than ever in the pole. I hope it lasts!

Anyho, tomorrow I might fall asleep on the keyboard when I come home, if not. I promise to blog on wednesday.

PS. Happy Birthday to Finanna! (She becomes 18 tomorrow!)

New Shoes

As some of you might know my dear Converse are quite dead (and smelly).
As some others of you might know I can´t find shoes I like.

First I went to the fancy shoestores at Avenue Toison d'or.
If I would be a buissniss man or drugdealer that would be the perfect place to buy shoes.

Then I went to Footlocker at de Brouckere and everything looked just like any other footlocker. But then I saw them, the ultimate Nilsshoe, comfortable like a normal Nike Air but at the same time shine and unique, Just like me.


They look like this:

As you can see they even match the blog!

I also met Benjamin and Michaela, they hated the new shoes.

Life rules

WÖÖÖ!

• Finanna is coming to Brussels in one month!
• I got the money from CSN today!
• I bought new better poleshoes!
• Lin Meï is back in Brussels
• The sun is still shining
• Sandra puts salt on her apple
• Me and Sandra get some kind of canadien living here on sunday
• I bought a waterboiler today
• I bought SOCKS today!! (i have been walking, talking and training whitout socks for 20 days...)

Life rules!

Goodbye soul - Hello Lin Meï

1. Running 4 km
2. Chinese Pole (flagpushups 3st, everything else went bad)
3. Lunch (baugette with pork and cheese and vegetables)
4. Interpretation (angel, mim and swedish jokes)
5. More interpretation
6. Helping Anna with videoediting
7. French test

As you might understand I was quite hungry at the end. So when I were on bus my dear father called me. He...speaks...sooooo.....sloooow.

I was very hungry...

Result: I was probably quite mean in the phone, I don´t know if he noticed.

I also screamed at Christer and Anna.

I should never be kept whitout food for so long again...

Today Lin Meï was supposed to come to school and whip me up the pole.

She didn´t cause she was jetlagged.

Tomorrow she will come to school and I will have pain.

WÖÖÖ

We got a fridge! It still doesn´t got a name.

So:

BLOGCOMPETITION 2006

The one who comes up with the best name for the fridge wins a chance to sign it!

(eventuell vinstskatt och resa betalas av vinnaren!)

This is how it looks like:

The fridge is the white thing to the right (->)

Sandra is the thing to the left (<-)

Good Night!

Saturday afternoon blogging

First things first.
Elias Larsson (Mimmic from LG2S) has recorded some of his and Andre´s Teeterboardtricks. It is supergood! (EVERYBODY MUST CLICK HERE!!!!!11)
I just putted two new videos on youtube too:

1. A video as answer to milqys comment (click here)
   
2. A video with emilliano telling the second best joke he knows... (click here)
   

Right now I am making a DVD for Anna that I promised her in May. It is as close to Nils Lé Film i ever has been.

Milq wrote a superlong comment on the last blog, I try to answer all the questions here in some kind of order.

• I am still on the surface of the earth
• I just sent toby a SMS
• The money has not arrived
• I answer fans
• I have been 14, i confess
• No comment
• The daughter is fine, I will call her Amidala
• I will survive, for as long I know how to blog I´ll always stay alive
• Stariz of the dead was a boring joke that only feeds my hybris, i don´t want to share it
• My jokes that I want to share will be published here
• I like to joke about strange and scary stuff to, but I am not afraid anymore, so life sucks.
• Utterz is a funny animal, but I have no idea what it is called on english
• I know that you are old, and I just saw some videoclips from that and it is now available on youtube (click here!!!)
• I promise to take over when you are gone, I will bring glory to your grave, I don´t know who glory is, but i hope for your sake that it is a very hot girl I can bury next to you!!
• My last name is from my fathers grandfathers family they were called Filipsson but wanted something more catchy and funky.
• Scar killed Mufasa!
• It is not a Båt, it is a Bot.
• Rolling cakes is a art that is quite simple, it is easy to make from stuff you have at home, if you make it with seaweed and ris and raw fish it is not a cake, then it is sushi which i prefer. But then I am quite trendy and edgy too.
• We should be together, but apperantly I smell :(

Yours truly
Nils Wärmegård

Lifechanging descisions blablabla

Anna have made a lifechanging decision
Christer have made a lifechanging decision (and written a blog instead of designing one...)
And the pressure is on me.
But I never make lifechanging decisions, I sing!

Gimme head with hair
Long beautiful hair
Shining, gleaming,
Streaming, flaxen, waxen

Give me down to there hair
Shoulder length or longer
Here baby, there mama
Everywhere daddy daddy
Or NOT!!

I have just cut half my hair.
The rest will DIE when Chrille P gets here.

Christers blog today was really funny.
Svens mustache is funny!
Lin Meï is missed!

Everything else is like normal!

Death?

Once again the mighty Starfighter escaped death. This time he was forced to fight a big and strong beast. The beast challenged him for battle with a dragonballsms with the spell:
"YOU ARE A DEAD MAN!!!"

The mighty Starfighter realized that he was about to die so he took his big sword and climbed up on the hill and explained to the beast that he was you young to die. (14 years is not enough...)
Then he went home and drank lemonade.

Something like this is the fantastic "Sagan om Sagan" stories that my mother has found and published in her blog. (CLICK HERE!)
It is a serie of 35-40 books that I wrote when I were 6 years old.
English translation will come sometime later. Ask my mother to do it.

The story about Starfighter and the Beast is based on a drama that took place today.

1. I am on the bus on my way home
2. Anna (the beast), sends me a SMS with the text "Du ska Dö!" (You will DIE!!!)
   
3. I get confused and answer something like "Oj, varför då?" (Oh, WHY!!?)
4. Anna (the beast) call me and explain that I have put a fake spider in Pedros locker
5. The fakespider was put in Pedros locker by Luis (who is PURE EVIL*)
6. I only have the part of giving him the idea to do it
7. Gert (uttalas skjärt) told Anna that I did it
8. Gert (uttalas fortfarande skjärt) have to high thoughts about me
9. I still haven´t got money from CSN to buy fakespiders
10. If I would have done it the spider would jump into the face of the one who would open the locker, and I would prerecord spidersounds (!!??)
11. Anna don´t won´t me dead

_____
*I am sure that he has been to jail becuse he knows so many partytrix and he always knows how to behave himself. (I think he carries a toothbrushknife too)

Second hand solutions.

My life is right now built up by second hand solutions.
Im still training on a jättebamsing to pole but Arian and I made glue for it today with a ancient chinese method.
I just got electricity for the apartment, but there was something wrong with the gaz and noone at sibelga understands my french so I wait for Sandra to call.
I hope we can use Anna´s electric stove a while.

Where would I be whitout Anna? She is great (that goes for both of them).

Now I will buy a grenuttag (whats that in english?) and then I will use electricity.

Expect more frequent blogging from now one!
Peace out

Blog #101

Right now I am at Anna (the wonderful cook) place.

Pedro, Kenzo, Vlad and Luca is here too.
Everybody speak strange languages and everybody is really tired.

School is started again for real. I have been training some pole on the panzerpole, it is superhard and uncomfortable. Phillipe the director told me to put cocacola on it to get it sticky. That worked a bit but I like the old (now dead) one more.

Todays schedule were:
Running with pulsewatch 45 minutes.
Pole on bad pole
Lunch (baugette with tuna and cheese)
Yoga
Interpretation

"I don´t have to shave my ass" - Pedro
"Can I quote that in my blog?" - Nils
"Ofcourse you can, he don`t even read it" -Anna

That is how it can sound when we are tired.
Presstop:
"Puke Puke Puke Puke!!!" - Pedro

"I have to fart" - Pedro
"This is gonna smell" -Pedro
"Is it smelling Nils?" -Pedro
"I´m SOO good!" - Pedro
"Mamma call!" - Pedro
"AAAAJ!" -Pedro

By the way! I won the first blogvisitfromafricacompitition!

Post number 100

It died.

The Pole died!

I didn´t do it this time. But the pole is dead.
Me, Diogo, Thomas and Mikael (they are the polegang of the first year) were in school to train with Arian.
Everything went well for around 30 minutes,then suddenly the pole breaks in two.
Noone got injured but now I will have fysical preparation until the pole is ready.
It will be a good poleyear with all this polepeople together. Everybody has quite different style.

Right now I am at Anna (the quite beautiful, not as beautiful as finanna, but still to old)´s place. She is dancing and then we go to my place so she can see my furniture...

Peace out!

Day 1 - Schoolstart (big resume)

First day of school.
I was quite tired this morning but it was really nice to come back and see everyone again. And all the new first year students.
The price for silly facial hair goes whitout a doubt to Sven, who changed his look from Aragon to the three musketers. It is hard not to smile to his very strange new mustach. (Sven if you read this, shave!)

Lin Meï is still in China, she has some kind of problem with the Visum to get back into belgium. I hope she comes soon.
This weekend the school will be open and on sundayafternoon I have poleclass. I still don´t have the money from CSN so I can´t buy new poleshoes. CSN is putting my life into danger.

Me and Sandra were supposed to get electricity today but the electricitymeter is inside a pittashop that doesn´t open until 1200 and the electric guy was a ass and couldn´t stay or comeback for then so we have to wait until wednesday. (I hate belgium...).

Right now I am at Anna and Lottas place. They are so nice to let me be here!

On sunday there is elections in Sweden. I hope that the rightwingpartys doesn´t win. I voted a couple of days ago, Miljöpartiet (the green party) for the parlament, Vänsterpartiet (the Left Party) for the commune and Socialdemokraterna (the social hypocrats) for the hospitals.

In a couple of weeks there comes some students from Montreal to do some kind of show with me and some people from the class. One of them will stay in my apartment.

Tonight there is a big party at the caravans.
Everyone who read this is invited!

No pictures but one funny link (och en tråkig)

Today i completely forgot to take pictures.

All you swedishreaders can check this out instead. (Click here!!)
All you non swedishreaders can check this out. (Click here!!)

Now I am at Anna (nerman)´s place.

Peace brothers (and sisters...)

The rise of the new apartmen

The apartment start to take shape.

It is very very far from done yet. Since CSN are a group of lazy people and have other things to do then send me my money I can´t go to IKEA and buy real swedish furniture (made in china).

But my dear mother borrowed me money so I atleast survive.

And since I know what all you blogreaders want (I am loyal to my fans...) here comes more pictures.

This is me newly awoken ready for a hard day on the barricades (shopping, barricades, same same but different...)

First shopping was some food and a cancercleaner (it helps you clean, but it is so strong that you will get cancer...)

We bought batteries for the cdplayer and put it on a table I got from Alix in my former apartment.

Sandra was happy and singing the whole day.

We bought a fruitthing that can roll on the floor.

We bought tape so we could put our name on the door.

We bought a holder for the dishes so I can do the dishes.

Photos from the apartment!!

Here is some pictures from my new apartment. All the blogging will take place here from now on. Except when I am out on magic adventures.


This is Anna and Sandra just when we arrived to the apartment this morning.


Anna tried the bathtub. It is small but she is not that big.


When she was out of the bath she tried the internet access. She has a strange hand with computors. But she is a macuser, so what can you expect?



Sandra on the otherhand started to clean her room.


This is the kitchen and some of my room.

Now we only need gas, electricity and furniture.

Peace out!!

Back in Brussels!

Now I am back.
Sandra just came to Annas place, superjetlagged and screaming. But it is nice that she is here so we can start decorating the apartment.
The trip went smooth and a bit slower than expected. But I start realize more and more that I enjoy going by car through Europe now. It is nice...

Today the building of lé MTF will start for real!

On the road... Almost.

Now I am ready to go back to Brussels. I have spent the last days with Anna (not Nerman, Juhlin), who by the way is a very nice girl. (syftningsfel, men jag föredrar Anna Juhlin före Nerman. Inget ont om frk. Nerman.)

Today I was at Cirkör and I met Rola and Bola, from my class. They made me miss school even more. I also did something that could be called training, but I am quite out of shape. But I feel that after a VERY painful first week I will be stronger than ever (*input evil laugh*).
After the "training" I went to Kulturama to meet Anna (still Juhlin) but she had a class so I found Synlic, famous from LG2K. He played trumpet for me with his friends. They were really good.

Yesterday I bought Anna (Still Juhlin, Nerman får ingen glass, eller jo, kanske...) her favourite ice cream, and she was very glad.

Tomorrow I will go to Flen and from there Anja (not Nerman god dammnit). I hope she is a good and safe driver.
Next blog will be from the road. Nils goes Cyberspace!!!

Mixtape for the Journey and release of the plans

I just built the playlist for the mixtape that i will give to Anja (the girl who will drive me to Brussels). I hope she will like it. This is the first time I ever give away a mixtape.

Playlist files:

1. Iggy Pop - China Girl (5:08)
2. The Dust Brothers - This Is Your Life (3:30)
3. The Cure - Friday I'm In Love (3:35)
4. Against Me! - Pints Of Guinness Make You Strong (2:46)
5. kenta - just idag är jag stark (3:34)
6. Ennio Morricone - The Good The Bad & the Ugly - Clint Eastwo (2:41)
7. Ola Magnell - När jag dör (2:01)
8. Inside Anthames - Track 02 (5:49)
9. Iggy Pop - I Wanna Be Your Dog (3:09)
10. Walter Carlos - I Want to Marry a Lighthouse Keeper (1:04)
11. Las Palmas - Missbruk beivras (7:00)
12. Just D - Sköna Skor (3:15)
13. Against Me! - Unprotected Sex With Multiple Partners (4:08)
14. The Streets - GET OUT MY HOUSE (MC'S MIX) (3:19)
15. Lipps, Inc - Funkytown (3:59)
16. Rage Against the Machine - People of the Sun (2:30)
17. Blues Traveler - Secret gestapo Man (2:14)
18. James Brown - It's A Man's Man's Man's World (2:47)
19. Against Me! - Cavalier Eternal (2:53)
20. Johnny Cash - Folsom Prison Blues (2:42)
21. Atari Teenage Riot - Delete Yourself (4:30)
22. Hep Stars - Consolation (3:27)
23. The Coral - Dreaming Of You (2:21)
24. Suede - Beautiful Ones (3:50)
25. Planet schmanet janet (2:00)
26. Broder Daniel - Shoreline (4:19)
27. Nick Cave & the Bad Seeds - Death Is Not the End (4:26)
28. Atari Teenage Riot - Start The Riot (3:38)

I hope she will like it!

It´s getting late now, I hope I can sleep in the car to Stockholm tomorrow.
The plan is like this:

• Tomorrow (or later today) I will wake up.
• Me and my mother will go to Härnösand and eat lunch at my fathers job.
• Me, my father and a bunch of old ladys will go to Stockholm
• My mother will cry and be left alone.
• Me and the crew will arrive to Uppsala, they will have somekind of a meeting, I will visit my grandmother.
• The meeting ends, me and one of the ladys will go to Stockholm, my father will go home and cry.
• I arrive to Stockholm and put my bags at my dear sisters place (thank you!)
• I go to Anna (not Anna the old, Anna the beautiful) and stay there for a couple of days.
• Sunday or Monday Anja (the mixtapereciver), her friend and me will go to Brussels, or they aim towards Spain, I let them drop me off in Brussels.

It looks like a foolproof plan to me!

The last supper...

Well well well...
All the bags are packed and I feel ready to leave my dear parents and cats. At the moment I am enjoying a last taste of luxury food, mothermade blueberry cake and watermelon. The kind of stuff I just don´t buy. Mothermade cake is hard to buy and watermelons are so big and are, basicly water packed up in a very entertaining cover.
But now when it all is payed for by my dear parents I hope they don´t mind that I go through the kitchen on a brave tresure hunt. I will return quite soon, during halftime in the episode of Oz I´m planning to watch while enjoing the allowed fruit.

I have been watching all episodes of Oz during the supper, up to season 4, and I caught myself slowing down the watching since Adebesi will die quite soon.

Anyho, next blog will probably be from Stockholm... Until then, have fun!

Mom & Dad vs Cobrasnake

For all of you who enjoy pictureblogs the two hottest on the web is the one by my mom and dad, Ewa & Per reser and the cobrasnake.

They are eachothers complete opposites but I can´t decide which one I love the most!

Ewa & Per reser is recommended to those of you who want to see pictures from the adventures of my parents.
Cobrasnake is some kind of partyanimal who takes 1000 photos a day....

Decide who you like the most!

Getting ready for the second year in exile

Just like this time one year ago (still out there) I am getting ready to go back to Brussels. This time I will arrive to a completely empty apartment. Starflower 2 AKA Masion Trop Forte. (MTF will be the acronym of choice I guess, one letter shorter than home, and more then twice as cool)
In MTF me and Sandra will live together. Sandra is for those of you who don't know her a 25 year old trampoline jumper from Montreal:
This is a photo of the stuff I will bring:


This is how sad my mother is that I am leaving:


This is how sad my father is that I am leaving:




Stina the neighbor tried to hold me and stop me from going, but she is not that strong:


This is one of the bags:



But before going to Brussels I will spend a couple of days in Stockholm. I will probably write something from there too. I hate Blogger Beta, blogging manually makes me feel mortal.

Calender!

All you people with a desperate need to have control over what I am doing, check out my public calender in the sidebar!

Ja mammsen, jag kommer lägga till så du kan fylla i saker där!

Renovated

Inspired by Christer i decided to renovate my blog a bit. The changes are not so extreme, all i´ve done is making the blog wider (for bigger pictures) and adding a line of Nilspictures! I think i will make some more changes in the future, but for now I feel this is ok.

Here at home in Nyadal I am a bit bored, but Stina the neighbor is coming here keeping me company for one hour a day.
Well well, time for some more Diablo 2!

Sad...

Blogger beta and performancing does not work together. That makes me a bit sad since I can´t blog as fast.

For all you Nilslovers who missed the interview on TV4 I just found it on youtube. Click here

All my time now is spent playing diablo 2. I will return when I have gotten a life again.

To late...

For the first time ever i deleted a blogpost!
I was trying the new blogger beta, but it was to far from finished and I thought there was no turning back, but there where!
So now everything is back to normal. But I really miss the RSSintegrationfunction and I will try to get it whitout having to remove all the pictures of ME ME ME!!!

But I think I will do that tomorrow. It´s getting WAY to late...

NIls goes skype!

Finally i realized how great skype is!
As soon as I get my money I will get myself a Skypein number so all you nilslovers out there can call me cheaper, and I can call you whitout paying belgacom the princess and half the kingdom!

All you skypers out there can add me, my skypeid is: nisse.warmegard

On wednesday I will go to Stockholm and then from there I will go to Brussels. I am getting bored here at home again. My family is nice but I need more people around me.

By public demand...

Me and my mother just came back home from the cinema, and the city of Härnösand.


This is how happy my mother were that I were willing to go and see the new swedish movie "Offside".

But then she suddenly saw this

A moped parked as if it was a car. The only thing my mother really hates!


When your mother look like this the only thing that can save her is if you take her somewhere where she can buy new books.

Then we went to the cinema...
The movie was better then expected, not super, but a nice oneandahalfhour. It was like the cartoon "Pondus".

After the cinema we passed the only piece of graffiti in Härnösand

"Hej Pappa" is Hi dad in swedish. So all the dads passing this every morning on their way to work wonder: "Did my kid do this?".
The genius who did this, thank you!

We also passed the strangest poster ever

Do folkpartiet think that anyone would consider voting on them when their leader look like this?

Waiting...

Waiting is not just a movie, it is a verb to...
RIght now I am waiting for my money to come from CSN. Luckely all the important papers is now in the hands of another top quality swedish instution, the swedish post (remember them, anyone??).

Today one very enthusiastic girl wanted to sell my mother Omega 3. I overenthusiazed her and hung up the phone.
Then I looked like this:


As you can see I have moved the computor to the couch so i can have company while watching movies.
My dear mother comes and sees some stuff with me sometimes, i showed her eos the movie today. She was very proud!

Tonight she will return the moviefavor and take me to the cinema.

Peace out!

Hateblog

For some strange reason my mother is hunted by telephonesalesmen (but most of the time it is womens). There is some kind of service called Nix that removes people from the evil telephonesalesmen register.
My dear mother has for a long time wanted to register us there.
My dear father doesn´t want to, because him and I have a common interest, to turn the telephonesalesmen down.

Evil telephonesalesperson: "Hello, I am looking for Ewa!"
Me: "What is it about?"
Evil telephonesalesperson: "Beauty products!"
Me: "Are you interested in Scientology?"

Evil telephonesalesperson hangs up the phone.

Since I don´t want to be sued from the church of Scientology I guess i have to say that I don´t have anything against you dear fellow human beings.

I hate phonesellers more then anything, that is why I strongly support my father in this conflict between my mother and father!
Anyone working as a phonesalesperson, please quit your job!
Anyone with new ideas to turn phonesellers down, send a comment! The best way will win a namedrop in the blog!

A nice photo from Urkult

This is me and Joel at the Urkult festival, I am the eagle...

Afternoon tea blogging...

I´m getting ready to escape the country once more. After a summer that has been great it feels a bit strange to leave, but i miss school and the training.

Today my dear mother woke me up at 10 in the morning (Karl Bertil Jonsson style) and we went to our summerhouse and I packed all my stuff from my small house that I will bring to Brussels. I also have all the papers from school that CSN (swedish for sugarmama) needs to realize that they want to give me money.

Speaking of papers, i found a scary paper in the summerhouse (the big one for the family, not the small one for me...). It was a normal A4 paper with a very long list of books. It was all the books my mother has read during the summer. She has read over 40 books! And comics does not count.
That, my dear fans, is a pocketoholic.

Grr...

Once again I were at a festival. This time it were the lame Ung 08 festival, it´s goal is to make all the suburban kids of stockholm gather at kungsträdgården and scream "SKIILLLZZ!!!!!11".
Luckely I didn´t have to sleep in a tent. The wonderful superwomen Anna took care of me. And by Anna I don´t mean the old lady Anna Nerman, I mean Anna famous from LG2K.
The best part of the performances at the festival were "Burnt out punks" and the swedish royal opera.

Anna also showed me all the lordoftheringsmovies. They were better than expected, but I will get a strange image of the saga since the movieorder that night were:

1. The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring
2. The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers
3. A Nightmare on Elm Street
4. Freddy vs. Jason

Then the day after we saw Lord of the rings episod 3: revenge of the king...

My computer has been sleeping at my sisters place and she has fed it with lots of new downloads. (Antipiratbyrån förstår inte engelska).
So now I have all the episods of Oz and fire within and Clerks 2.

And I finally i have my new glasses. I can see what i write before i blog!
HURRA!

Life rules...